Shh… I’m at work. Don’t tell anyone I am reading a blog by some dude crushing on his penis. [Gotta love the interwebs, baby!] I don’t want penises anywhere near my body. But if you wanna write about your man parts or just get naked… I’m in. All the way in. Now, hold all of […]
At first, I want you. I really, really want you. And I am just like any other stalker. Diligent. Methodical. And lookin’ your ass up on the internet. Like every day. Studying you. I imagine touching you. Working on you. Over and over again. Until you come. And then, I am embarrassed to say this. […]
I can’t find them. This is why I organize everything. I just hate losing things. I am not a clean freak. Ask every cat hair ball roaming around my laminate floors. But I do like to find things. Hence, the twenty million plastic organizers of all shapes and sizes in every closet and drawer. Not […]
It’s official. My vagina is an underachiever. I mean I kinda knew that already – with the cobwebs and all. But now, I have test results to prove it to my um… cats – who give less of a shit than I do. But still… In true geek fashion, I just love getting an A […]
“When was your last sexual encounter?” she asked directly. [Wow. That's so forward....Take me to dinner first, at least.] Question: Remember the good old days when you talked about your vagina after some pie and coffee? “Over a year ago,” I said jokingly. “I am working on regaining my virginity.” I have no issues with […]
